In one of my classes today we were talking about Mary E. Wilkins Freeman’s collection of short stories “A New England Nun and other stories” and one of my fellow students said something about “becomin a spinster.” I don’t know what he said about it but the phrase struck me. Why?
Well, the ‘theoretical’ lesbian body in a novel would often be described as the spinster, the old maid. A woman, who did not marry (when she had the chance) and is now living alone (or with another spinster) in the house at the end of the street - and has a lot of cats (and I am sure a lot of lesbians just recongnized themselves). Likely the lesbian body was somebody’s aunt so that one feels a sort of association but not real attachment. If she was lucky she was wealthy, if not there would always be the question of when her spinster-status would lead her into a poor-people home or to the nephew’s / niece’s threshold. Most likely these characters (whether rich or not) were not very likable but might help out in a tight spot (or not; we don’t want to get too generalizing, here).
At this point, it is of course of importance whether we think that homosexuality is something a person is or if it is something a person does. I would argue that it is something I am, I am a lesbian, I don’t act lesbian (well, I do that, too, but usually only when I want to provoke a reaction). So, the question is, how does one become a spinster? The answer might be: through not marrying (is the absence of an act still an act?). But that would put marrying into a category of inevitableness. You have to marry, so as not to become a spinster.
What if that person does not want to marry, like a lesbian, or a nun…
Society (or novel writers, or whoever is behind that big conspiracy that condmns women to marry) tells women that they have to marry in order to not become any of those “bad” things. Pride in being a lesbian, a nun, a spinster, an old maid, an hermit… is a weird concept and so they make all these women outsiders, out of norm, something that you become when you fail to get a husband, fail to marry.
Well, I am a lesbian, and I am a loner, and I am sort of weird and that’s not what I chose to become. It’s what I am!
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