Bachelorette – is that even a word?

Maybe it is because I am working on my bachelor-thesis (then again, maybe it is a bachelorette-thesis) at the moment where I think about the female desire to be a bachelor in a time when women were supposed to be (as in “told to be”) wives and mothers. But I am thinking about the state and therefore also about the word and I guess a little about marriage/wedding/the evil conduct of an archaic custom-thingy.

Let’s face it, it is a strange word – bachelorette. And since I have learned that suffragettes were in fact suffragists and that the ending -ette is indeed patronizing I am even more weary of the word. Not that bachelorist sounds better, really. But couldn’t we just say that “women bachelors” or “girl bachelors” are also just bachelors? Why does the standard always has to be male? I don’t know, do you?

Well, I have been to my sister’s bachelorette-party and it is not only a strange name it is also a disturbing concept. We had to wear colorful flowery I-don’t-know-the-words (at least they were rainbow-colored) and my sister wore fluffy ears that blinked on her head… hmmm… well, it was fun in a way. Especially when my sister asked that buff owner of the club we went to if he was the stripper… well, I had a good time anyway.

The wedding was nice as well… as far as weddings go. I don’t know, I get really cranky about the whole concept of marriage and weddings. Why would anyone wannt to get married… or better still: why would any woman want to get married. Of course, the most awkward of moments was the throwing and catching of the bridal bouquet. Why do they have to force a lesbian who is wearing a three piece suit (as I was) to line up to catch something that for her represents all the patriarchal stereotypes of female behavior? I don’t get it. Well, I did not catch it… but two women were a little to eager to… awkward.

Well, for those who want to get married… whatever, but not for me, hear?!

Define… Thanksgiving (for yourself)

I think it is so nice that everybody asks me what I am doing on Thankgiving, assuming that I would actually do something. Well, I have to write three papers until the end of the semester in – what, is it only? – two weeks, so, for me that says everything. But somehow I still feel the obligation to give a reason for not celebrating this day. I mean, I am German, we do not have that particular holiday (although I think one could compare it to Erntedankfest – which is a kind of holiday that goes back to the good old days when we were thankful for a good harvest – but we don’t really celebrate that anymore…).

I think, I actually insulted one of my fellow students (not purposefully, sometimes I just speak without thinking) when I said that I was not that much into Indian Genocide, so Thanksgiving was kind of a no-go for me, not to mention the sexist notion that the women stand in the kitchen all day and the men watch football… Well, I am sorry, but that is how America is portrait in many (liberal) tv shows and movies, which were the ones I was watching. Like the “Roseanne”-episode “The Last Thursday in November” (which first aired on my 17th birthday, can you believe it?). And, of course, the sequel to “The Addams Family,” “Addams Family Values.” Also, we have recently read a book about Indian Genocide in my Gender Class and I was (am still) mad about everything I read there (which usually happens when I am subjected to anything that involves “politics”).

So, I don’t celebrate Thankgiving, I am going to work on my papers. But I must say, when I dug into the matter a little with those people who asked me what I was gonna do, they weren’t too thrilled about the whole concept of the holiday either. Maybe that’s because I just throw the bad things I connect with it out there and they think they have to respond in kind… I mean, I think most of the students here look forward to going home, having some down time to spend with their families… but Thanksgiving, I don’t know if that is really something worth celebrating anymore, at least not from the historical standpoint. Maybe one should just redefine it for oneself.

Okay, I try that: Thanksgiving. I am thankful that I had the chance to come to New Orleans, to meet interesting and nice people, to discover some things about myself I hadn’t known yet and to fulfill a dream I had since I was a kid. Now, that worked well. Where are the presents, then?